Does size really matter?

Dear Old Navy,

Thanks for the feel good marketing techniques, mostly.

I realize that the last few months have been filled with junk food and sugar and booze and not much time in the gym, but it was tough when I tried on my "nice" shorts this year and most of them didn't fit. I was sad and am resolved to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

But this is Texas, where temperatures have already hit 90 degrees, so I can't quite wait until my exercise and sensible eating plan reshapes me. Side note: Bring it on Jillian.

Under a little cloud, I headed to Old Navy for some cheap shorts to tide me over.

O.N., we have some things to discuss. This whole manipulating the sizes thing? I am not too sure about it. On one hand, it was good for my self esteem to find some new shorts that are the same size as the shorts that don't fit at home. On the other hand, it's a pain in the ass to take 74 sizes into the dressing room and truthfully, shouldn't I be aware that I need a bigger size? In the name of my health and well-being? And you aren't even consistent!

I am 5 foot 6 inches tall and hit puberty many (many) years ago. Let's be honest with each other, I should never ever need an extra small. But I found a nifty flouncy skirt on the clearance rack in exactly that size that fits great hanging next to a pair of XS shorts that I am quite sure I couldn't get one leg in. Mixed messages are not good things to send to women of any age.

Don't worry O.N., I am not giving up on you yet - you have a groovy dog mannequin.

Kisses!

Laura

(Size XS, S, M, 2, 4, 6, 8, and probably some 10s)

You've got to eat lean to be lean!

I am not normally a dieter. I truly believe in moderation of all things. I enjoy eating and drinking. Very much.

I am a dichotomy. Organic and locally grown foods chased down with a Dr Pepper or a margarita. Fast food lunches eaten while at my desk on conference calls versus vegetarian meals, growing our own veggies in the backyard garden and sustainably managed seafood.

I have always been lucky and been blessed with a pretty good metabolism. For the most part I ate what I wanted to, indulging my sweet tooth, got a fair amount of exercise, and things just pretty much worked out for the best.

I was warned it wouldn't last. My sisters and older friends told me I had better start learning good habits because it would only get harder. Those bastards were right! After I hit 30 it was all downhill. I suddenly found myself dragging out of bed at 5:30 am to get bossed around in boot camp - and I had to pay for that torture! The instructor - a former military drill sergeant - was super fit and full of witticisms. "You've got to eat lean to be lean!" "Run like you are running to the Krispy Kreme!" I was in good shape and I really liked it, but I just couldn't keep getting up that early.

I kept running, but learned that according to Runners World, you must run an extra mile per week each year after 30 to stay at the same weight. Who the hell came up with that stupid idea? Isn't that backwards? Shouldn't all those miles go into a bank to be drawn out later, kind of like a pension or 401K? This may be the most compelling evidence I have seen to suggest that the omnipotent is not of the female persuasion. A girl just wouldn't make that rule.

I tried to hold the line, but a huge project at work turned me into a stress eater. Vending machines don't offer the best choices for healthy meals, and the candy bowls around the office increased in direct proportion with the luming project deadline. Sigh . . . somehow I wound up with about 10-15 extra pounds.

I have been bitching and moaning about it for a while, but when my favorite jeans couldn't be shoehorned on anymore, I had to draw the line. I got serious a few weeks ago and went on a water drinking, veggie eating, no fast food binge. My biggest goal was to break the sugar cravings. The first few days were hard. I got very crabby. I also cheated a few days, eating out and having a few beers. (Wine comes from grapes, which are part of the fruit group and technically not cheating, right?) There was also an incident where I almost tackled a co-worker and stole her bag of candy corn. Bygones.

Net result . . . down 7 pounds so far and holding.