Does size really matter?

Dear Old Navy,

Thanks for the feel good marketing techniques, mostly.

I realize that the last few months have been filled with junk food and sugar and booze and not much time in the gym, but it was tough when I tried on my "nice" shorts this year and most of them didn't fit. I was sad and am resolved to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

But this is Texas, where temperatures have already hit 90 degrees, so I can't quite wait until my exercise and sensible eating plan reshapes me. Side note: Bring it on Jillian.

Under a little cloud, I headed to Old Navy for some cheap shorts to tide me over.

O.N., we have some things to discuss. This whole manipulating the sizes thing? I am not too sure about it. On one hand, it was good for my self esteem to find some new shorts that are the same size as the shorts that don't fit at home. On the other hand, it's a pain in the ass to take 74 sizes into the dressing room and truthfully, shouldn't I be aware that I need a bigger size? In the name of my health and well-being? And you aren't even consistent!

I am 5 foot 6 inches tall and hit puberty many (many) years ago. Let's be honest with each other, I should never ever need an extra small. But I found a nifty flouncy skirt on the clearance rack in exactly that size that fits great hanging next to a pair of XS shorts that I am quite sure I couldn't get one leg in. Mixed messages are not good things to send to women of any age.

Don't worry O.N., I am not giving up on you yet - you have a groovy dog mannequin.

Kisses!

Laura

(Size XS, S, M, 2, 4, 6, 8, and probably some 10s)

The Stupid Co-Worker Files

It's been a rough few weeks at the black hole (aka my place of employment). Over the last few years we have RIFd a lot of good (and plenty of not so good people). Of course, there is no decrease in the amount of work that needs to be done, but we do the best that we can.

My normal week averages about 40 conference calls and at least 175 emails a day. On the bright side, there have been a lot of birthdays lately, so we get to eat a lot of cake.

Every once in a while I get to spend some time with a real winner.

The first email says that she is having problems uploading an excel file into the system. This isn't my first rodeo with this particular contestant, so I realize that it's bound to be user error. Sigh number 1. I respond with "Send me your file so I can try the upload" and quickly get a screen print of windows explorer with a list of files. Sigh number 2.

I patiently ask for the actual files, telling her that I can't access the files that are stored on her computer. She sends back a screen print of the file itself. Sigh number 3.

You know, I am really trying hard these days not be judgmental and/or critical of others, but how in the name of all that is holy do people like this manage to keep their jobs when good smart people get the boot?

Bright side? Cupcakes tomorrow at 2:30.

Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumberg can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

TGIF

It has been a long miserable week at work, but things are looking up.

1 - It's Friday

2 - I got a new bike!

3 - I can sleep in tomorrow

4 - Two new co-workers thought I was in my late 20's!

Happy Friday - the weather is great, come on over edition

Things to be happy about this week:

the weather - 80's and sunny

driving with the top down (car, not shirt)

Shiner's 14th birthday

an abundance of flowers

checking something off the life list

Earth Day

the fact that I am about to go sip a margarita on a patio and enjoy the rest of the day

Ancient Chinese Secrets

A couple of weeks ago we got some very appropriate fortune cookies. The Rockstar got the one on top: "You are always welcome in any gathering. Host a party this month." We laughed because he had been talking about throwing himself a birthday party for a while. Message received, party held.

My cookie said "Need some adventure and enjoyment? Take a vacation." We laughed at this one too. I have been whining about a vacation for months. We were scheduled to take a very big trip last fall and the plans fell through for various reasons. It has been a bone of contention in our household. There are various other plans being discussed, but nothing set in stone. I find myself distracted a lot lately, and almost daily I find myself daydreaming about a trip. Different places, different people, sometimes with the Rockstar, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. One thing is for sure, I need to go somewhere some time soon.

Back in January I wrote about spending more time out doing and less time holding down the fort. I haven't spent much time out doing since then. Message received loud and clear.

Dog Park Karma

A while back, I made a resolution to take the mutts to the dog park more often.

As far as dogs go, ours are pretty much living the dream. They have a nice supply of bones and high dollar dog food, get plenty of table scraps, are allowed on the furniture, get at least one walk each day, have a giant yard to run around in in Texas, miles of forrest trails to roam in Colorado, plenty of squirrels to chase and we only dress them up silly costumes every couple of years.

I tried to make an effort to socialize them early and often but in our neck of the woods, dogs aren't really welcome out and about. (Although that is slowly changing - yay!) A couple of years ago they built a new dog park not too far from our house aptly named Wiggly Field. It's a dog's paradise - trees, grass, a small pond, a bigger pond with a trail around it and lots of booties to smell.

Deuce and Dakota aren't always the most popular dogs in the park. They want to be part of the crowd, but they have spent too much together and play too rough for some of the dogs. I sometimes wonder if they watch Wild Kingdom when I am not at home to learn new moves. They don't play chase very well either. They are a little like kids in junior high - trying just a bit too hard to fit in.

Last fall I was trying not to be a helicopter parent - read: wasn't paying close enough attention - and Deuce ran over to a picnic table where a few older folks were sitting and hiked his leg and tried to pee on a lady. I was so embarrassed and apologized profusely before slinking away.

Last week, I was standing in the park watching them try to act like normal dogs when I felt something on my leg. I turned around quickly and there was a slobbery bulldog owned by an old guy who hiked his leg and peed on me.

Thanks Deuce - I guess I deserved it and I will take one for the team.

Time is not on my side

Has is really been six weeks since I posted? Yeah, pretty much.

It's not like I haven't thought about it. Remember that scene in European Vacation? The one where they are trapped in the traffic circle and they just keep going around and around. Look kids, Big Ben, Parliment!

I find myself in the traffic circle of way too busy and chronic procrastination. When I am not in one boat I am in the other.

So, you ask, what have I been doing? Working, planting the garden, running a couple of half marathons and a full marathon, and heading to Jersey for the Rockstar's Dad's surprise birthday party. I also read some books, planted some flowers, walked some dogs and watched some TV. Pretty riveting stuff!

I am hoping to get back in the groove though, so stay tuned.