Thursday, February 25, 2010

Buzzword Overkill

My work life has recently been unsatisfying.

There was the smallest bonuses in years (and by bonus, I mean "we are going to give you less base salary so we can give you a BOUNS! And then we will screw you on the bonus, so really . . . we got you both ways!). Next came meager raises and another round of RIFs looming in the not so distant future.

This joy was followed up by the influx of a new group to my cubicle area. Prior to this, one other lady and I were spoiled. We were the only two people in a large bank of cubes. It was our domain and we were happy damn it. I took one day off and a flock of people moved in and now surround me. My special favorite is the lady who verbalizes a stream of consciousness all day long. This is how I know that she hasn't ever started a 401K because saving for the future is dumb, is spending her meager bonus on granite counter tops for her trailer house, must poop on a specific schedule, and must have a smoke break every two hours. She also takes conference calls on a blasting speakerphone several times a day. No one is in there with her and she doesn't ever even speak. I know more about what their group does than she does I am quite sure.

Her friend has set up an audible message each time she gets an email - at least 40 times a day I hear "Mistress, you have mail." Sigh.

I haven't had to listen to them this week though, as I have been sequestered in a conference room with 15 of my new closest pals tasked with a high profile project of redesigning and merging some systems. After the first day filled with terms like agnostic platforms and bifurcated processes I wanted to cry. After the second day of quick wins, low hanging fruit, speed to market and client accessibility I was ready to put a bullet in my head. By day three, I was numb.

On the bright side . . . a nice lady wheeled in a cart of fresh baked cookies each afternoon. Makes it all worthwhile. I am living the dream.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I'm back!

Lately, I have been a whole lot of UNs: unmotivated, uninterested, uninspired, uncomfortable in my jeans.

DFW got 12 inches of snow on Thursday and Friday - a record amount. It was fabulous! I worked from home and played in the snow with the dogs. The Rockstar and I squandered the weekend herding the mutts through the slush and watching the Olympics with a few bottles of wine. Things are looking up around here!
I usually don't remember my dreams, but last night I had 3 distinct dreams that woke up remembering in detail. Two of them had a similar theme. In one, I was visiting a mental hospital, talking to the the patients. When I wasn't paying attention, the crazy folks stole my bag, and I started freaking out - mostly because it was full of stuff. Tons of stuff. Papers and books and a laptop and running shoes and dog bones and on and on. They just kept pulling stuff out of the bag and it was piled up everywhere. I was desperately trying to get it all back and under control, but the doctor wouldn't help me. He told me just to relax and it would all work out. Not so subtle huh?

The other dream had me on a plane. I was eavesdropping on some other passengers who were bad mouthing Thai food (huh?) and the flight attendant came by to pass out free samples of Mary Kay (again, huh?). I had my backpack open with piles of stuff all over the seats and the floor and the aisle. All of a sudden the plane landed and people started getting up and stomping all over my stuff before I could get it picked up. I was freaking out again trying to jam it all back in the bag.

Clutter is cluttering my subconscious.