Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Move over Martha!

It was a relatively productive day here at the homestead. I brought home the bacon and fried it up in a pan!

I kicked some ass at work managing projects and people and managing not to yell too loudly at a particularly dimwitted individual.

I worked out at lunch, came home and did laundry, cleaned floors, washed dishes, brushed and walked a herd of dogs, played with the neighbor kids plus lots more stuff too.

Then . . . I picked some wild blueberries from the vines in the backyard and baked them into muffins! Whole wheat double berry muffins! That actually tasted pretty good even though they are kind of healthy!

Exhibit 1: Fresh Blackberries

Exhibit 2: Add some Blueberries

Exhibit 3: Sidetracked by a dog in a shirt

Exhibit 4: Muffin-tastic!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

There's a sucker born every minute

I am a sucker for a cute dog. So . . . when I was presented with a homeless dog last Saturday I eventually fell for it hook, line and sinker. I resisted. I told the group that I couldn't possibly take another dog. I lobbied hard to have another member of the group adopt her. A text and photo sent to the Rockstar confirmed that she looked like a miniature version of Deuce and that we should bring her home at least temporarily, and resistance proved futile.

She doesn't have a name yet, but she's such a sweetie she has already managed to worm her way into our hearts. (Except for Deuce - he's still pouting half the time.) Welcome to the family little dog. I know what kind of life we can give you and I am pretty sure it's a lot better than the one you came from. And with that, we are one step further down the road of the crazy dog people.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Does size really matter?

Dear Old Navy,

Thanks for the feel good marketing techniques, mostly.

I realize that the last few months have been filled with junk food and sugar and booze and not much time in the gym, but it was tough when I tried on my "nice" shorts this year and most of them didn't fit. I was sad and am resolved to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.

But this is Texas, where temperatures have already hit 90 degrees, so I can't quite wait until my exercise and sensible eating plan reshapes me. Side note: Bring it on Jillian.

Under a little cloud, I headed to Old Navy for some cheap shorts to tide me over.

O.N., we have some things to discuss. This whole manipulating the sizes thing? I am not too sure about it. On one hand, it was good for my self esteem to find some new shorts that are the same size as the shorts that don't fit at home. On the other hand, it's a pain in the ass to take 74 sizes into the dressing room and truthfully, shouldn't I be aware that I need a bigger size? In the name of my health and well-being? And you aren't even consistent!

I am 5 foot 6 inches tall and hit puberty many (many) years ago. Let's be honest with each other, I should never ever need an extra small. But I found a nifty flouncy skirt on the clearance rack in exactly that size that fits great hanging next to a pair of XS shorts that I am quite sure I couldn't get one leg in. Mixed messages are not good things to send to women of any age.

Don't worry O.N., I am not giving up on you yet - you have a groovy dog mannequin.
(Size XS, S, M, 2, 4, 6, 8, and probably some 10s)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Stupid Co-Worker Files

It's been a rough few weeks at the black hole (aka my place of employment). Over the last few years we have RIFd a lot of good (and plenty of not so good people). Of course, there is no decrease in the amount of work that needs to be done, but we do the best that we can.

My normal week averages about 40 conference calls and at least 175 emails a day. On the bright side, there have been a lot of birthdays lately, so we get to eat a lot of cake.

Every once in a while I get to spend some time with a real winner.

The first email says that she is having problems uploading an excel file into the system. This isn't my first rodeo with this particular contestant, so I realize that it's bound to be user error. Sigh number 1. I respond with "Send me your file so I can try the upload" and quickly get a screen print of windows explorer with a list of files. Sigh number 2.

I patiently ask for the actual files, telling her that I can't access the files that are stored on her computer. She sends back a screen print of the file itself. Sigh number 3.

You know, I am really trying hard these days not be judgmental and/or critical of others, but how in the name of all that is holy do people like this manage to keep their jobs when good smart people get the boot?

Bright side? Cupcakes tomorrow at 2:30.

Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumberg can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.