I have probably known a disproportionate amount of death in my life. Some of it due to being adopted by parents who were in their 5o's when I was born (can you imagine? but that's a story for another day). Three grandparents gone by the time I was born, one when I was a kid. My parents within 6 months of each other when I was 21. Growing up in a small town meant that I had several friends die by the time I made it out of high school. College friends added to the count. Ironic that a suicide led to a funeral with more than 1000 people crowding into the church. Volunteer work with a cancer charity led me even closer to many wonderful people who are no longer with us.
With this life experience you would think that I have learned to accept it.
A few days ago I got an update from a friend that I have known since I was a kid. She has been battling cancer for almost year. She was always the good one. The vegetarian since we were young (growing up in a small town in the middle of ranching country - she was the only one), always exercised, always healthy. After a series of chemo and radiation that was pretty rough, they have run tests. The cancer is back. It has spread. It is inoperable. She is 36. She has 4 young children.
It makes me angry
It makes me sad.
It makes me want to tell everyone who is important to me how much I love them.
It makes me want to see more of the world.
It makes me want to make a difference.
It makes me want to make the most of every single day.
Many people have said it best: cancer sucks.